1 PLY

I have convened the senate today to call for an all out ban on single ply toilet paper.

You wouldn't wrap your newborn baby in a burlap sack, so why would you want to use sandpaper on your asshole. I just don't get it.

I use to work for a law firm for a brief stint, and I found it ironic that while they billed their clients $550 an hour ...they would have 1 ply toilet paper in the bathroom. If I am paying a lawyer that much money, I want to be sure he is not puckering tight while making a motion in court and can concentrate unfettered without the use of a blowup donut to sit on. Its just not right!!

This product serves no function and needs to be removed from the mass market immediately!

And ditto for cheap Kleanex... Theres nothing my nose needs like s good cheese grating. Its like blowing your nose with tree bark. I hate 1 ply everything.