Taxi!

Yes I have a car.. I own an entire fleet of cars. And I always have a driver. So what if he is a terrorist and smells of Tabuli.. Its the only way to travel around Manhattan

Have you driven with Masuud Mohmad Alladin (9m45) or Singh Srirama Satnarine (3h64) ... or what about Achmed Mafuzz Khalli Shek Mohammed (6d69).

Man are you guys missing out. These guys are fast, efficient and drive irregardless of human life. Some drive so fast I stain the back seat without even trying. Other times they are so jagged on the steering wheel I have the luxury of tossing it up right on the Plexiglases. Regardless, they are all awesome.

How else can you get from Canal Street to 96th street in 10 minutes? They are quicker than the subways and most of the times smell better than the anus of the underground. My personal favorite cabbies are the Bengali drivers. You will notice the driver is Bengali by the excessive speed and the radio blasting the Panjabi MC's Knight Rider theme.

I really enjoy the personal touch each cab driver adds to his/her vehicle which really are leading indicators about their personality.

The Super Man - The super man has the emblem on the car mats and probably a few pictures of the man of steel on the steering wheel. This asshole thinks hes Shaquel O'Neil, except he drives like a fucking maniac and doesn't speak a word of English. Seat belts are recommended for this ride.

The Rosary Bead or the Hindi Statue- A man of the faith.. you are in luck! Chances are this cab smells particularly like shit and the driver hasn't showered in days. Good news is your cabbie is a man of the cloth, so he prays 5 times daily that you will die in transit so he can steal your wallet. It's best to refrain from too much conversation with these guys since they want your infidel ass gone.


The I Love America Flag Sticker- Poor taxi man must have been lynched Post 9-11. He is constantly worried about those police checkpoints at the Lincoln Tunnel, and prays that black people insight a riot to take some of the heat of their ethnic ass. He has no problem entertaining you in conversation about the Beatles and hopw much he loves your sports team. What a guy!